«It Was a Planned Child, But Now I Want To Abort It!»

Silvia and her husband have wanted children for a long time and have imagined how their life would be as a family. Therefore, their joy knows no bounds when she becomes pregnant. But the happiness is short-lived. Silvia goes through a radical mood-swing: suddenly the future appears dismal. Being a mother isn’t anymore an option! At her doctor's behest, she phones the SAMC-Helpline.

A wanted child again: Silvia’s daughter.

Silvia to the SAMC-counsellor: «It was so good that you were always there for us. What would we have done without you!» (Staged photograph)

Before she had become pregnant, Silvia had been operated on for a tumour in her back. Since then, she has suffered pain, which is why she is also receiving psychiatric care. Right after beginning a new job, she gets pregnant. Silvia immediately tells her new employer the good news. Unfortunately, he is not at all happy. He terminates her position already in the trial period.

This hits her hard. She falls into depression. She becomes increasingly convinced of the opinion that she would not be able to handle the responsibilities of motherhood. Being pregnant suddenly causes her to have panic attacks and doubts. A life as a mother is now out of the question. As she discusses this with her doctor, she is told about the SAMC. Silvia, now in her seventh week of the pregnancy, calls the SAMC-Helpline.

 

Paralysed By Self-Doubt

The counsellor can hardly believe her ears when she hears Silvia say, «It was a planned child, but now I want to abort it!» The duties of motherhood appear indescribably difficult to her, explains the frantic woman. «I will never be able to be a good mother!» Her desire for a child has disappeared. She is also terrified that so many things could go wrong. Horrifying thoughts of the birth pursue her. She would like a competent person to tell her that in her case, an abortion is the right way out of her difficulty.

The counsellor talks with Silvia about the crises that women sometimes go through in the early weeks of a pregnancy. Does she really want to put into doubt her long-cherished dream of a child? After the first conversation, Silvia reveals her wish to stay in contact with the counsellor. She also does this in the following weeks. On the telephone and in emails, Silvia cries and laments her difficult situation wholeheartedly: She has no feelings left for her child, and would probably harm him with all of her fears!

 

Courage is Stronger than Fear

Now the counsellor organises a face-to-face meeting. The conversation and the atmosphere are good. As a result, and due to the renewed offer from the counsellor for support in taking care of the baby, Silvia regains the joy for her baby. Slowly she starts to hope that she will be able to grow into her role as a mother. She is able to accept her child again. Relieved, she tells the counsellor, «I am doing better. The talk with you has saved me.»

It is good that Silvia’s husband is full of understanding and is so considerate, because it takes time for her decision to catch up with her feelings. The counsellor continues to support her as new doubts arise. And Silvia lets her know: «I am very grateful that I can always call you! You are my angel.»

 

Happy New Start with the Baby

On the very day her daughter is born, Silvia sends her counsellor a picture of the baby. The long-awaited child brings light into her life. Silvia continues improving. She and her husband can now look towards the future with joyful anticipation. «I really cannot thank you enough for everything you have done for us», she writes.

The counsellor continues to receive new pictures of the daughter, together with gratitude for the support received: «We would like to thank you for all of your help and support. It was so good that you were always there for us. What would we have done without you!»