With the help of the SAMC, Gina, now mother of three, is able to meet her challenges. (Staged photograph)
Mother of a Child with Just One Arm and no Legs Pregnant Again – Panic!
Gina already has two children. The first, a son, was born with only one arm and without any legs. A huge shock! The second, a daughter, suffers from ADHD and takes Ritalin. Now Gina discovers that she is pregnant again, and begins to panic. She has no energy left, and cannot go through this again. She discusses abortion with her doctor. Also her parents-in-law are pressuring her to do this. Only the SAMC gives her courage and promises help.
Gina has been a single mother for years. With limited money from social services, she and her children are just barely managing. She is hard-working and brought her situation under control as she dares to try a new relationship. Both she and her partner assume that he is infertile since his treatment for tumours. One day, while Gina is already in her mid-thirties, she learns at a doctor’s appointment that she is pregnant. She is completely shocked and immediately begins discussing abortion with her doctor.
The Father is in Favour of the Child, the Mother Against
He is in favour of the child, her boyfriend says encouragingly in response to the news. Gina does not have that kind of courage. She has to speak with someone immediately who has experience with extreme living conditions. She finds the toll-free number of the SAMC, calls, and tells a counsellor about her painful life.
She experienced the time after the birth of her son as truly horrible. Because of that her second pregnancy was an exercise in fear. She has no desire to go through that again. As far as caring for her children, she is already at her limits. She lives in the most modest conditions. And because adoption is not an option for her, the only solution is an abortion, of that she is absolutely sure.
Advice and Clarity
The counsellor starts off with just listening. She realises immediately that Gina is afraid the negative experiences could happen again. The counsellor, however, recommends that she should think positively. She is strong, and has already done so much for her children. She should give herself more credit, thereby putting her current pregnancy in a new light. Financial difficulties are anyway never a reason to have an abortion. The SAMC also helps here wherever necessary.
More than 20 conversations and meetings end up taking place. Gina remarks that she feels more secure and strengthened because of them. Consequently, she finds the courage to say yes to her baby.
Mother In Favour, Father Against the Child
As the couple break the news of the baby to her partner’s parents, they react negatively. Their son’s health is weak and so he shouldn’t become a father now. The worst for Gina is that her boyfriend adopts this opinion! She trusts the promises of the SAMC, however, and so she stays with her yes to the child, and tries instead to change her boyfriend’s mind again.
The Baby Changes Hearts
Months go by. Abortion is now not an issue any more. The SAMC helps Gina to get ready for the birth. Then it is time: a healthy baby boy is born! Gina is thrilled. She tells her counsellor: «That the SAMC was always there for me gave me the security and confidence to decide for my baby.»
Without the monthly food vouchers and baby items from the SAMC, the new start into motherhood would have been difficult. With this help, however, the mother of three can focus on her duties. Gina’s partner becomes positive about the child again and finds the courage to acknowledge his responsibility. And his parents are so touched by the sight of the tiny boy, that they sincerely apologize for their negative attitude.
Gina is especially pleased to have her son who is so easy to care for. After all of her terrible experiences, she is finally feeling true joy. She is especially pleased that she didn’t have an abortion.